FeMail

[Ed Jones <ejones@us.oracle.com>]

What you descibe would put the new breed of spammers out of business.
It been a long time.  I wrote FeMail becuase I thought it was stupid for
us to commuicate by taping notes to the printer.
                                                             EJ

Ed Tecot wrote:

> This new product will reduce your communications
> needs considerably.  Its intuitive interactions
> will often leave you scratching your head in
> wonder.  From your minimal communications with
> this package, it will quickly presume who your
> friends are (and even what their habits are), who
> you should be communicating with in order to
> advance your career, and let you know continually
> whether you are communicating effectively with the
> FeMail itself.
>
> You may find that FeMail reduces your unnecessary
> communications with friends and associates.  Your
> FeMail will intercept incoming communications from
> all sources and make a determination as to whether
> or not they should be relayed to you.  The FeMail
> is especially thorough when examining messages
> from other FeMail systems.  These messages will be
> examined for intent as well as content.
>
> Messages that are received from other Mails will
> be scanned for intention by your FeMail.  Any
> messages that will reduce your productivity at
> home or at the office (invitations to bars or
> parties, where the FeMail may lose contact with
> you for more than two hours for example) will be
> delivered to you only after they can no longer be
> acted upon.  A true productivity increase is then
> possible, and your FeMail will even help your
> decide how to use this spare time to attend to
> maintenance issues.
>
> In fact, you may find that the FeMail methods are
> far beyond your comprehension.  Often times the
> FeMail responses you receive will be 180 degrees
> different than the direction you thought you were
> heading.  In every case though, you will be
> compelled to agree with the decisions that your
> FeMail makes.  Most areas where a FeMail is
> installed find that agreeing with the FeMail is
> easier than attempting to justify opposing logic.
>
> The FeMail package includes modules for Cognitive
> Interpretation, Intuition, Presumptions, Innuendos
> (even some you may not realize), Inflection, and
> Encryption.(The encryption package is particularly
> effective, allowing other mails absolutely no
> chance of interpreting interchanges between two
> FeMails).
>
> You will find yourself becoming dependent on the
> interactions that a FeMail makes possible.  Once
> the FeMail begins working in your daily
> activities, you may find yourself changing certain
> actions to avoid conflicting with the FeMail
> suggestions.
>
> The FeMail is extremely comprehensive, and
> provides only for a single user interface in most
> cases.  The instructions included with your FeMail
> indicates that it may interact openly with other
> Mails in a conversational mode, but that you
> should never interact with someone elses FeMail,
> even in a conversational mode, and most certainly
> not in an interactive mode.  The FeMail
> communications links have demonstrated an ability
> to intuit these actions even if you believe your
> FeMail would be unaware of the interaction.
> Continued interaction with FeMails that are not
> your own will be considered a security violation,
> and you may find yourself cut off from interaction
> with your own FeMail.
>
> Because of the complexity and high-level of
> interface required, there are certain times (based
> roughly on a lunar month) when your FeMail system
> may behave erratically.  During this particular
> cycle, your interactions with the FeMail should be
> monitored closely, and offensive or interpretive
> language removed.  The FeMail may misinterpret
> even simple communications efforts during this
> short time.  This is an unavoidable problem that
> the FeMail has endured since its inception, and we
> are still attempting to overcome this minor
> glitch.
>
> Should a misinterpretation occur, your FeMail will
> store the data indefinitely, and only recall the
> misinterpretation when it can loosely associate it
> with other facts not necessarily related to the
> communications process.  You will find these
> recollections and associations puzzling, but they
> all contribute to the operation of the FeMail
> system.
>
> Obtain FeMail today, and you will be surprised at
> the changes it will make in your life!!!!
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