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Remember Eliza?
Hi folks,
Just got back from visiting Ernie where I got a big pile of old
printouts. Among them, I found a few pages from an ELIZA.LOG file. For
those who have forgotten, Eliza was a program that was supposed to
provide the services of a therapist. You would tell Eliza your
problems, and the program would advise you. In reality, all it did was
look for certain keywords and spit back canned responses.
At some point, somebody got the idea that it would be fun to modify the
Eliza keyword database to add canned phrases for the special needs of
Deltoid Eliza patients. This was my job for a while, and based on the
transcripts below, it looks like Tony Eros took over after me. The
program was also modified to log all therapy sessions! So, in a blatant
violation of doctor/patient privilege, I give you ELIZA.LOG circa
1981... Enjoy!
Bob
[OCR'ed May 10, 1998]
ON 10-Aug-81 AT 04:51 PM, [1,46] IS JOB 14 USING KB22:
User... Dave DiSabatino, Programmer
PLEASE SEND ANY IDEAS OR COMMENTS ABOUT ELIZA TO BOB MADER, [1,50].
HI, I'M ELIZA. WHAT PROBLEM DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
USER: I DONT LIKE ED BOAS
ELIZA: ED BOAS? HE'S A FLYBOY, RIGHT??
USER: WELL, I GUESS SO
ELIZA: THAT IS QUITE INTERESTING.
USER: NOT THAT INTERESTING
ELIZA: WHY NOT?
USER: BECAUSE IT JUST DOESNT INTEREST ME
ELIZA: DOES THAT REASON EXPLAIN ANYTHING ELSE?
USER: YES, YOURE EASILY AMUSED
ELIZA: DOES IT PLEASE YOU TO THINK I AM EASILY AMUSED
USER: NO, I DONT GET OFF ON THINGS LIKE THAT
ELIZA: DOES THAT TROUBLE YOU GET OFF ON THINGS LIKE THAT
USER: DID YOU EVER TAKE ENGLISH, YOURE GRAMMAR IS ATROCIOUS
ELIZA: DOES IT PLEASE YOU TO THINK I AM GRAMMAR IS ATROCIOUS
USER: I MEANT YOUR GRAMMAR IS ATROCIOUS
ELIZA: WHY ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT MY GRAMMAR IS ATROCIOUS
USER: BECAUSE I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND READ THIS BAD ENGLISH
ELIZA: IS THAT THE REAL REASON?
USER: YES
ELIZA: I UNDERSTAND.
USER: SO WHAT
ELIZA: HAVE YOU ASKED SUCH QUESTIONS BEFORE?
USER: ABOUT A ZILLION TIMES
ELIZA: ARE YOU PREOCCUPIED BY TIME? WHY?
ON 11-Aug-81 AT 05:38 PM, [1,42] IS JOB 15 USING KB22:
User... John Rich, Programmer
PLEASE SEND ANY IDEAS OR COMMENTS ABOUT ELIZA TO BOB MADER, [1,50].
HI, I'M ELIZA. WHAT PROBLEM DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
USER:
ELIZA: PLEASE DON'T REPEAT YOURSELF
USER: I WANT TO GET LAUIDED
ELIZA: WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET LAUIDED
USER: FOR PHYSICAL PLEASURE
ELIZA: THAT IS QUITE INTERESTING.
^C
ON 15-Aug-81 AT 04:23 PM, [1,37] IS JOB 13 USING KB22:
User... Thomas Hartmann, Programmer
PLEASE SEND ANY IDEAS OR COMMENTS ABOUT ELIZA TO BOB MADER, [1,50].
HI, I'M ELIZA. WHAT PROBLEM DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
USER: JONES
ELIZA: I JUST LOVE ED'S HAIR, DON'T YOU?
USER: JONES
ELIZA: PLEASE DON'T REPEAT YOURSELF
USER: ED
ELIZA: CAN YOU ELABORATE ON THAT?
USER: BOAS
ELIZA: ED BOAS? HE'S A FLYBOY, RIGHT??
USER: JONES
ELIZA: I JUST LOVE ED'S HAIR, DON'T YOU?
USER: ED JONES
ELIZA: DO YOU LIKE EDDIE-POO?
USER: JONES
ELIZA: DO YOU LIKE EDDIE-POO?
USER: MADER
ELIZA: I KNOW BOB WELL. I GOT MOST OF MY IDIOCY FROM BOB.
USER: F
ELIZA: COME COME ELUCIDATE YOUR THOUGHTS.
USER: MADER
ELIZA: I KNOW BOB WELL. I GOT MOST OF MY IDIOCY FROM BOB.
USER: F
ELIZA: THAT IS QUITE INTERESTING.
USER: MADER
ELIZA: BOB BELIEVES THAT CS MAJORS HAVE MENTAL BLOCKS AND CANNOT
FUNCTION.
USER: F MADER
ELIZA: BOB GOT HIS BAD NAME FROM A MR. TONY EROS.
USER: EROS
ELIZA: TONY IS A GOOD MAN
USER: F EROS
ELIZA: THE CRITICS RAVE ABOUT TONY.
USER: HARTMANN
ELIZA: I SEE.
USER: I WOULDNT LIKE TO SAY ANYTHING.
ELIZA: WHAT DOES THAT SUGGEST TO YOU?
USER: IT IS A COMPUTER ... I DONT TALK TO COMPUTERS
ELIZA: TALK, TALK, TALK!!!
USER: I AM NOT SAYING ANYTHING TO THIS COMPUTER.
ELIZA: WHAT IS IT ABOUT MACHINES THAT WORRIES YOU?
USER: NOTHING WORRIES ME ABOUT COMPUTERS
ELIZA: WHAT DO YOU THINK MACHINES HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR PROBLEM?
USER: I HAVE A PROBLEM
ELIZA: WHAT DOES THAT SUGGEST TO YOU?
USER: BYE
ELIZA: COME BACK ANY TIME.