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The University of Delaware Cooperative Extension offers:

Love Notes: Modified version for ages 13-17, full version ages 18-24.

Instructor: Jennifer Seabrook-Scott

Love Notes is an evidence-based curriculum used to help reduce teenage pregnancy. This curriculum teaches how to make wise choices about relationships and how to be and select a good partner, all of which can influence your mental health.  This curriculum is for ages 13 -24. This is a sexuality and gender-neutral curriculum

This evidence-based curriculum can be modified for youth in grades 7th and above. This program runs for six weeks for 1 hour (modified for schools as needed). It covers the importance of self-awareness, navigating relationships in the age of technology, focused decision-making, dating while parenting, and principles and characteristics of an intelligent, healthy relationship.

Visit Mental Well-Being Page

Contact

For more information, please contact: jsscott@udel.edu
(302) 730-4000

Photo of Jennifer Seabrook-Scott
A father and teen son having an important discussion.

10 Tips for Parents To Help Their Children Avoid Teen Pregnancy
 

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy offers these 10 tips for parents...

 

1Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes.

It will be much easier for you to talk with your child if you have thought through these questions:

  • How do you feel about school aged teens being sexually active? Becoming parents?
  • Who needs to set the sexual limits in a relationship? How is this done?
  • Were you sexually active as a teen? How do you feel about that now? Were you sexually active before you were married? How do the answers to these questions affect what you will say to your children?
  • How do you feel about encouraging teens to abstain from sex?
  • What do you think about teens using contraceptives?

 

2. Talk with your children early and often about sex and love. Be specific.

The most important thing you can do is to say the first few words. Be honest and open. Listen carefully to find out what your child already understands. Make your conversations back and forth—two ways.

Talking with your children about sex will not encourage them to become sexually active. Kids need just as much help understanding how relationships work and the meaning of sex as they do in understanding how all the body parts work.

What’s the difference between love and sex? Let your children know what you value and believe—and then be sure to be a good role model and “walk the talk.” It’s important that your child feel comfortable asking you questions about anything—not just questions about sex. Do your best to be an “askable” parent. Let your children know that they can talk with you about whatever they are thinking or worrying about.

Kids say they want to discuss these kinds of questions:

  • How do I know I’m in love? Will sex bring me closer to my boyfriend?
  • How will I know when I’m ready for sex? How will I know when I’m ready to get married?
  • Will having sex make me more popular? Will I be more grown-up and be able to do more adult activities?
  • How do I tell my girlfriend/boyfriend that I don’t want to have sex—without losing him/her or hurting his/her feelings?
  • How do I respond when my girlfriend/boyfriend pressures me to have sex?
  • What about contraceptives? How do they work? Which are the safest? Which work the best?
  • Can you get pregnant the first time?
A mother and her teen daughter having a conversation

Be a parent with a point of view. These are the kinds of things you could say to your child.

  • I think kids in high school are too young to have sex—especially given the risks of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
  • Whenever you do have sex, always use protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases—until you are ready to have a child.
  • In our family, we believe that sex should be an expression of love within marriage.
  • Teens today find themselves in many sexually charged situations. Think ahead about how you will handle this. Have a plan. Will you say “no”? Will you use contraceptives? How will you negotiate all this?
  • It’s natural and normal to have sexual desires and to think about sex. It is not okay for teens to get pregnant.
  • Having a baby doesn’t make a boy into a man or a girl into a woman. People wait until they are ready to take responsibility before having a child.
  • Having sex is not the price you should pay for having a close relationship. If it is, find another boyfriend/girlfriend.

Be a parent with a point of view. These are the kinds of things you could say to your child.

  • I think kids in high school are too young to have sex—especially given the risks of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
  • Whenever you do have sex, always use protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases—until you are ready to have a child.
  • In our family, we believe that sex should be an expression of love within marriage.
  • Teens today find themselves in many sexually charged situations. Think ahead about how you will handle this. Have a plan. Will you say “no”? Will you use contraceptives? How will you negotiate all this?
  • It’s natural and normal to have sexual desires and to think about sex. It is not okay for teens to get pregnant.
  • Having a baby doesn’t make a boy into a man or a girl into a woman. People wait until they are ready to take responsibility before having a child.
  • Having sex is not the price you should pay for having a close relationship. If it is, find another boyfriend/girlfriend.
A male and female teen being affectionate

3. Supervise and monitor your children’s activities.

Know where your children are at all times. Are they safe? What are they doing? Are they involved in useful activities? If they aren’t with you, are responsible adults supervising them? You may be accused of being too snoopy, but you can help your children understand that parents who care know where their kids are.

 

4. Know your children’s friends and their families.

Since peers have a strong influence on teens, do your best to help your children choose friends from families with similar values. Welcome your children’s friends into your home, and talk with them regularly. Talk with their parents about curfews, common rules and expectations.

 

5. Discourage early, frequent and steady dating.

Encourage group activities. Long before your child asks you if he or she can date a certain person, make it clear that one-on-one dating before 16 can lead to trouble. Letting your children know ahead of time will help them see that you are not reacting to a particular person or invitation.

 

6. Take a strong stand against teens dating people who are significantly older or younger than they are. 

Try setting a limit of no more than a 2 - year age difference. Power differences can lead into risky situations—including unwanted and unprotected sex.

7. Help your teens have options for the future that are much more attractive than early pregnancy and parenthood.

Help them set real, meaningful goals for their future. Talk with them about what they will need to do to reach their goals, and help them reach these goals. Help them see how becoming a parent can derail the best of plans. For example, child care expenses can make it almost impossible to afford college.

Help them learn to use their free time in constructive ways—being sure they set aside time to do their homework. Community service can help teach them job skills, and can put them in touch with a variety of committed and caring adults.

 

8. Emphasize how much you value education.

Set high expectations for your child’s school performance. If your child is not progressing well in school, intervene early. School failure is one of the key risk factors for teen parenthood. Keep track of your children’s grades and meet with teachers. Volunteer at school if you can. Limit teen’s after-school jobs to no more than 20 hours per week, so there is ample time for homework—and enough time left over for restful sleep and socializing.

A group of teens sitting together looking down at their phones

9. Know what your kids are watching, reading and listening to.

Messages about sex sent by the media (TV, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are almost certainly at odds with your values. Be “media literate” about what you and your family are watching and reading. Teach your children to think critically; talk with them about what they are learning from the programs they watch and the music they listen to.

Do not allow televisions in your children’s bedrooms. You will probably not be able to fully control what your children see and hear, but you can make your views known, and you can control what happens in your home. Turn off the TV, cancel subscriptions, and be clear about what movies, records and videos are acceptable.

 

10. Strive for a relationship that is warm and affectionate—firm in discipline and rich in communication.

  • Emphasize mutual trust and respect.
  • Express your love, affection and appreciation clearly and often. Hug your kids and tell them how much you love them every day.
  • Listen carefully to what your children say. Pay attention to what they do.
  • Spend fun, pleasant time with your children daily, if possible. This is the foundation for your relationship. It is the bank account that will help you through the inevitable rough patches ahead.
  • Be kind and courteous to your children, and let them know you expect the same in return. Don’t compare one child against another. Let each child know he/she is one of a kind—and priceless.
  • Help them master new skills. Real, enduring self-esteem has to be earned the old-fashioned way— through feeling good about what you do.
  • Try to have at least one family meal together each day. Use the time together to talk—not to argue.


Know that it’s never too late to work on a good relationship with your child. Even though your teen may be acting like she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, those are probably not her real feelings. Children of all ages want a close relationship with their parents, and they yearn for their parents’ help, approval and support.

 

 

––

Pat Tanner Nelson, Ed.D.
Former Extension Family & Human Development Specialist

Adapted from information prepared for Oregon State University Extension by Dr. Jan Hare, and from materials by Lawrence Altman, Eleanor Macklin, Karen Pittman and the national PTA.

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  • 10 TIPS FOR PARENTS TO HELP THEIR CHILDREN AVOID TEEN PREGNANCY

    The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy offers these 10 tips for parents:

    1. Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes...

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  • 5 MISTAKES TO AVOID WHEN PREPARING YOUR HOLIDAY TURKEY

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  • ACHIEVING EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

    The area to understand and cope with feelings and emotions through a positive attitude and strong sense of self. This may include having a sense of fun and laughter, expressing yourself and feelings appropriately and constructively, having a sense of control in your life and being able to adapt to change.

  • ACHIEVING ENVIRONMENTAL WELLNESS

    Environmental Wellness means taking care of both the global environment as well as your immediate personal environment through sustainable practices and organization skills. This may include recycling plastic, glass and paper products when possible, maintaining a clean and organized home and/or room, and spending time outdoors.

  • ACHIEVING INTELLECTUAL WELLNESS

    Intellectual Wellness is being open to new experiences and ideas by creatively, curiously and critically thinking and seeking out new challenges. This may include having goals to learn a new skill or study a particular topic, being a lifelong learner, committing time and energy to professional and self-development.

  • ACHIEVING PHYSICAL WELLNESS

     Maintaining a healthy body through smart diet and activity choices. This may include eating a balanced nutritional diet, exercising regularly, at least 60 minutes per day for youth or 2.5 hours per week for adults, and being generally free from common illness.

  • ACHIEVING SPIRITUAL WELLNESS

    Spiritual wellness is where we establish peace and harmony in our lives by demonstrating an individual purpose and reflecting your values and beliefs in your actions. This may include having a sense of meaning and purpose in life, trusting yourself and others and being able to forgive and let go, having principles, ethics, and morals that provide guides for your life.

  • ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT AND BEHAVIOR

    Physical restlessness, fidgeting, arguments with parents over rules, neatness, time management.

  • AVOIDING TOO MUCH FAT, SATURATED FAT, AND CHOLESTEROL

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  • Back to School

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  • Boosting Emotional IQ

    Children need help to deal with their emotions. This means teaching them how to respond when feelings arise.

  • Building Strong Family Relationships

    Our family teaches us how to function in the world. It should provide love and warmth to all of its members. A strong family gives its members the support they need to make it through life’s toughest spots.

  • CHOOSING YOUR WILL AND ESTATE PLANNING ATTORNEY

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  • COLD SUMMER SOUPS

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  • Canning Fruits

    Fruits, acidified tomatoes, pickled products, and fruit spreads may be processed safely in a boiling-water bath.

  • Canning Vegetables

    In the interest of food safety, vegetables must be processed in a pressure canner. Pressure for processing ranges between 5 pounds pressure to 15 pounds pressure, depending on the type of canner and food being processed. Processing time varies according to specific vegetable and size container.

  • Choosing a Credit Counselor

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  • Choosing a Financial Advisor

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  • Choosing a Summer Camp

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  • Communicating About Money

    Money is a common problem for a family, regardless of income, age and education of family members. Sometimes a lack of income to meet basic needs causes the money hassle. But, more often, inadequate communication about money is the root of financial problems.

  • Communication Skills for your Family

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  • Credit Repair: Self Help May be Best

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  • Credit Scoring

    Ever wonder how a creditor decides whether to grant you credit? For years, creditors have been using credit scoring systems to determine if you'd be a good risk for credit cards and auto loans.

  • Credit and Divorce

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  • Credit and your Consumer Rights

    A good credit rating is very important. Businesses inspect your credit history when they evaluate your applications for credit, insurance, employment, and even leases.

  • DIETARY FIBER

    Dietary fiber is the part of plants that humans cannot digest. Although fiber was once thought to be a very simple constituent of food, it is now divided into two types – soluble and insoluble.

  • Dealing with Grief

    Adults sometimes think that children do not experience feelings of grief, but even babies feel loss and show signs of grief. Children experience many losses—such as losing a favorite toy, being separated from a parent, losing a family member to death, moving to a new home or school.

  • Enjoying Your Child

    In today’s busy world it can be hard to find time to play. Play is as important for adults as it is for children. Play increases our creativity and can make us better problem solvers. 

  • Fair Debt Collection Practices Act

    A debt collector is defined as any person who regularly collects or attempts to collect, directly or indirectly, consumer debts asserted to be owed to another person.

  • Family Commuication

    It is much more than the words you say. It is what you say, how you say it, why you say it, when you say it, and what you don’t say. It is your facial expression, your gestures, your posture, and your tone of voice.

  • Family Glue: Ideas for Year-Round Family Fun

     Spending time together as a family takes planning, but it’s a good investment. When children feel close to their parents, they try harder to please their parents and make them proud. This makes the whole family unit stronger.

  • Forty-Five Ways to Live on Less

    Here are forty-five ideas to cut costs during a period when you are trying to cut costs, live on less, or increase your savings. Food: Eliminate convenience food meals and prepare snacks from your shopping list by making them yourself "from scratch."

  • Freezing Fruits

    For the best in frozen fruits: Choose fruits of top quality to freeze. Wash fruit in cold running water. If submerged in cold water, lift carefully from water. Drain thoroughly in wire basket. Do not let fruit stand in water.

  • Freezing Vegetables

    How to freeze veggies: Choose vegetables of top quality to freeze. Frozen vegetables are no better than the initial product. Wash vegetables in cold running water. If submerged in cold water, lift carefully from water. Drain thoroughly in wire basket.

  • HERBS & SPICES – WHAT GOES WITH WHAT FOOD

    Choosing herbs and spices to go with foods. Bay leaf, cayenne, chili, curry, dill, ginger, mustard, paprika, marjoram, oregano, parsley, rosemary, thyme.

  • HIV/AIDS: What Parents Need to Know

    Although children learn about AIDS in school and from their friends, parents have a very important job in helping their children really understand AIDS and how not to get it.

  • HOW PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR KIDS BE SUCCESSFUL IN SCHOOL

    1. Get a plan and stick to it.

    Set a specific “quiet time” every day for homework or general reading. Involve your child in setting the rules for this. Ask your child to come up with three rules 

  • Hand Washing Procedures

    Use the double hand wash method to reduce disease-causing (pathogenic) organisms on hands. The steps include: Wet hands under hot, flowing water (100° F to 120° F, 2 gallons per minute). Apply sufficient soap to develop a good lather. (Refrain from using antibacterial soaps.)

  • Healthy Familes, Healthy Teens

    When you bring up the subject of teenagers in a room full of parents, there’s usually a group groan. People roll their eyes and laugh nervously. Almost everyone thinks about this stage with fear and trepidation.

  • Help Your Child Become a Great Reader

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  • Helping Your Child Become a Good Money Manager

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  • Helping Your Child Manage Money

    Money is necessary to meet needs and wants in our society and everyone needs money management skills. These skills are cultivated out of the ideas, attitudes, habits and values we acquire about money as we grow up.

  • How to Dispute Credit Report Errors

    Your credit report contains important information about you. It generally includes facts about where you work and live and your bill-paying habits. It also may state whether you've been sued or arrested or have filed for bankruptcy. 

  • It's Worth Your Time to Review What's in Your Credit File

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  • KEEP FOOD SAFE – GUIDE TO REFRIGERATOR STORAGE PERIODS

    When storing foods in your refrigerator, use foil, plastic bags and wraps, or airtight containers. Clean refrigerators regularly to reduce food odors. Remove spoiled foods immediately so decay cannot pass to other foods.

  • KEEP FOOD SAFE – IT'S IN YOUR HANDS

    Foodborne illness can be the result of biological, chemical, or physical hazards.  Chemical hazards (for example, pesticides, food additives, or environmental contaminants, such as lead or mercury) often receive considerable public attention. 

  • Keep Food Safe for Seniors

    Foodborne Illness: Are You at Risk? When you experience diarrhea, vomiting, an upset stomach, fever or stomach cramps, you may think you have the flu.  But the real culprit may be harmful microorganisms called pathogens in the food you ate a few hours, a week, or even a month ago.

  • Knee Deep in Debt

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  • LET'S TALK TURKEY

    All poultry, including turkey, is highly perishable.  To ensure a safe product, proper handling and storage are important.  Buy poultry only from freezer, refrigerator or chill cases.  What are recommended ways of handling turkey?  Let’s consider some questions frequently asked about preparing, cooking and keeping turkeys.

  • Making Decisions

    Children can learn to make healthy decisions with support from their parents. Parents can help children learn to make decisions by working together with them rather than always being in total control.

     

  • Making the Best of the School Year

    Children who are given the basics — love, healthy food, enough sleep, clothing, a safe and healthy home — have a natural head start at school.

  • Managing Credit

    The use of consumer credit has become a major component in the management of money. Consumer credit should be used responsibly and effectively.

  • NUTRITION: FATS

    Despite its bad reputation, some fat is needed in our diet.  Fats serve many functions in the body.  In addition to providing more than twice the energy supplied by carbohydrates and proteins and supplying essential fatty acids, fats serve as carriers for fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E and K) and as parts of cell membranes.

  • NUTRITION: WHAT IS CHOLESTEROL?

    Cholesterol is a waxy, fat-like substance found in cells of humans and animals.  It can come from the foods we eat, but the body also makes cholesterol.  Although we often hear about ways to reduce blood cholesterol levels, cholesterol is one of many chemicals created and used by the body. 

  • OPEN KETTLE CANNING IS NO LONGER SAFE

    Since the late 1980’s we have been teaching that open kettle canning is no longer safe. Open kettle canning involves heating the food to boiling, pouring it into the jars, applying lids, and allowing the heat of the jar to cause the lid to seal. Many years ago, it was commonly used for pickles, jams and jellies, and sometimes used for tomatoes and applesauce.

  • PROFESSIONAL WELLNESS

    Professionally, you should have fulfillment in your job. There is also a balance between work and leisure. This may include beliefs and values surrounding money/education are harmonious with behavior, having a balance between work/school and other areas of life, having financial/educational plans for the future.

  • Payday Loans Equal Costly Cash

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  • Prevention Pays

    What are the characteristics of youth who are most and least at-risk of becoming involved with drugs and other risky activities? What can parents do to help their kids stay on a good path?

  • Privacy Choices for your Personal Financial Information

    Financial companies share information for many reasons: to offer you more services, to introduce new products, and to profit from the information they have about you.

  • REFRIGERATOR & FREEZER STORAGE CHART

    These short but safe time limits will help keep refrigerated food held at 40°F or below from spoiling or becoming dangerous. Purchase the product before “sell-by” or expiration dates...

  • Raising a Non-Violent Child

    If we want our children to be non-violent, we can not use violence to discipline them. Discipline means “to teach.” When we discipline our children we are turning their misbehavior into an opportunity to teach them how we want them to behave.

  • SAFE BROWN BAG LUNCHES

    Use good sanitation and good personal hygiene when preparing food. Use special care with high protein, moist, and low-acid foods.

  • SELF-ESTEEM GROWS WITH REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

    When expectations are realistic, it is easy for a child to experience success and feel personally valuable. On the other hand, when expectations are too high or too rigid, parents often express disappointment in their child’s actions. 

  • SOCIAL WELLNESS

    Social wellness is how we relate and connect to others by engaging in the community and building and being a part of supportive social networks. This may include: being aware of others feelings and responding in an appropriate manner, having people with whom you have a trusting relationship, and being able to set and respect your own and others’ boundaries.

  • SPECIAL PROCEDURES FOR THE IMMUNE-COMPROMISED

    Foodborne illness is never pleasant, but it can be especially devastating for anyone with a weakened immune system. Special precautions should be taken to protect anyone who is susceptible to foodborne illness.

  • Saving and Investing

    Saving is essential to financial well-being. Some people save easily, while for others, it is a serious challenge. Either way, it is a key step to financial security in the short-term and the long term. Investing and planning for future goals like retirement or health care later in life are essential for financial security. Don't wait; start NOW!

  • Setting Limits

    Youth who stay away from risky behaviors tend to have parents who set clear limits for behavior. These parents usually have rules about homework, television use, curfew, drugs and alcohol.

  • Shopping for Credit

    Smart consumers comparison shop for credit, whether they're looking for a mortgage, an auto loan, or a credit card. Comparison-shopping is important because it could save you money.

  • Steps to Building Self-Esteem

    At one time or another most parents ask themselves: "What can I do to help my child feel better about himself...to feel more confident...to view life positively?"

  • Stress is Gonna Get You if You Don't Watch Out

    Is stress getting to you? Here are some clues research gives us about stress and the characteristics of good stress managers.

  • Surviving a Family Crisis

    A family crisis occurs when a family has to change. It is a turning point: things will either get better, or they will get worse. Sometimes, day-to-day hassles can pile up and cause a stress overload.

  • TALKING WITH YOUR PRETEEN ABOUT SEXUALITY

    Preteen children continue to define their values, beliefs and knowledge about sexuality. Giving accurate facts and openly discussing their questions and concerns can help teens and preteens develop healthy and responsible sexual attitudes.

  • TEEN COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT

    Most adults recognize that teens have better thinking skills than younger children. These advances in thinking can be divided into several areas: Developing advanced reasoning skills...

  • TEEN SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

    There are five major social and emotional issues that teens deal with during their adolescent years. These include: Establishing an identity. This has been called one of the most important tasks of adolescents.

  • Talking About Rules

    To help children learn about rules the following steps may be helpful: Identify what is expected.

  • Teaching Your Child to do the Right Thing

    The goals of parenting center around: Teaching our children how to behave well, teaching them how to be responsible for themselves.

  • Teen Growth and Development

    Adolescence is a time of many transitions for teens and their families. To ensure that teens and adults navigate these transitions successfully, it is important for everyone to understand: What is happening to the teen physically, cognitively, and socially?

  • The Tale of Family Meetings

    Ideas For Family Meetings: Family Time together can be a good time for all! A family meeting can be a time to have fun together. 

  • USING HERBS AND SPICES

    Although spices and herbs have been used since ancient times, they are playing a new and important role in modern food preparation.  They not only add unique flavors to our food, but contribute color and variety as well.  Certain spices and herbs used alone, or in blends, can replace or reduce salt and sugar in foods.

  • Understanding Teens

    It’s not easy being a parent! As children grow into their teens, every family goes through stress and conflict. It’s a normal part of growing up. Understanding the changes your child is going through makes it easier to be a positive parent.

  • WHEN A FAMILY BREAKS UP: DIVORCE AND SEPARATION

    Deciding to divorce or separate is a difficult decision for parents. Although you may hear that people divorce  too easily, most parents do not come to the decision to separate or divorce easily. When people choose to marry they are committing to a life together and most never think they will separate or divorce.

  • WHEN THE POWER IS OUT

    Bacteria that cause foodborne illness multiply rapidly on food kept at room temperature for more than 2 hours. Do not rely on the appearance or odor to determine if the food is safe. This guide tells you how long food stays cold when the power goes off to help you decide what to salvage and what to discard.

  • Washing Produce

    Eating a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables is healthy and adds color, texture and flavor to our diet.  Recent illnesses have been traced to eating raw fruits and vegetables containing harmful disease-causing microorganisms. 

  • Where am I going to find $2000?

    Many people would like to save or invest more money but don't. They believe they have too many expenses or debts. Saving or investing $2,000 sounds great, but where is the money going to come from? For many people, it's going to come from reducing household expenses. Below are a dozen or so ideas. Refinance your mortgage.

  • Where am I going to put $2000?

    Millions of people nationwide are getting richer by increasing their savings and reducing debt. As savings are accumulated consider this "baker's dozen" of saving and investing ideas for ideas about where to put savings. Bank or Credit Union savings account.

  • Winning Ways to Talk to Your Children

    Good communication helps children develop confidence, feelings of self-worth, and good relationships with others. It makes life with them more pleasant and helps them grow into adults who have good feelings about themselves and others.

  • YOUTH FINANCIAL LITERACY RESOURCES FOR PARENTS

    Building strong financial and consumer skills in youth can start early. Kids as early as 4-6 years old can begin to understand basic concepts. Providing youth with consumer, banking and money management related experiences help them build skills and confidence in the market place. 

  • YOUTH FINANCIAL LITERACY RESOURCES FOR TEACHERS

    Teaching financial and consumer literacy to youth is a priority for Cooperative Extension. We support the following programs: High School Financial Planning Program - Cooperative Extension offers teacher in-service and support for this high school and young adult level hands-on curriculum.

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UD Cooperative Extension

This institution is an equal opportunity provider.

In accordance with Federal law and U.S. Department of Agriculture policy, Cooperative Extension is prohibited from discriminating on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or disability.